Five ways to annoy a gamer

I’m someone who often writes about the two extremes of gaming. I’m either praising every aspect of it and making it seem like some kind of amazing magical place, or I’m focusing on the truly horrendous parts of it. I’ve never really explored the elusive grey area, it’s either just absolute bliss or pure hatred. Since the universe is about “balance” or something, I figured I’d take a look at some of the grey areas of gaming. The things that are just somewhat upsetting, but aren’t necessarily world-ending events. The little annoyances that we often put up with as we’re playing games.

So strap yourself in and prepare to get mildly perturbed. Don’t let go of the handles and keep your arms inside the ride at all times.

Ask us to pause a game when it’s multiplayer

Look, this one is fundamental. It’s an annoyance at the core of our gaming lives and it’s almost guaranteed that at some point in your illustrious gaming career, your mom/significant other/Eldritch horror has asked you to do something or go somewhere and since you’re not a time wizard or own a blinged out glove, you can’t pause your multiplayer game. It’s a simple conclusion to reach if you’re not a complete dunce. There are other people running around on the screen, you’re also potentially shouting at them as well because who the hell just rushes A and gets murdered on the choke?

The worst is when a game does that thing where it thinks it’s cool to not allow you to pause because it causes “tension” or whatever. People will think that you can pause a game as you fight some massive dog creature in Bloodborne, but the moment you do, you’ll turn yourself into a juicy steak dinner to be thrown around and screamed at.

My solution to this is to keep my door locked at all times. I haven’t seen another human being in almost a month, but at least I can play Overwatch in peace. Ah, who am I kidding? You’re never at peace when you play Overwatch.

Day One patches and crashes

You’ve worked your fingers to the bone. The soul-crushing monotony of your dead end day job is only countered by the fact that you get to have disposable income to buy videogames. You purchase the latest games-as-a-service title because you want to lose yourself in a perpetual time sink to escape the mundanity of your pitiful existence. You’re excited as you pop in the disc, ready to create your character and ignore the microtransactions.

Boop, a notification pops up that version 1.1112 is being downloaded right now. You’re optimistic at first, thinking that they’re just fixing some typos in the subtitles. As you head to the downloads list, your eye catches the time remaining. The time is in the double digits. You also notice that the update is 50 GB and now you want to go jump into a fire.

It’s not like you can just ignore the update and play your game anyway because publishers want you to be in a “perpetually connected online world” so if you don’t have that patch, you’re basically out of luck. You lightly flip a table as you realise that you’re probably not going to be playing games tonight. But hey, at least the game will now have “stability”, whatever that means.

Say our favourite game was just “alright”

During a normal day, I’m usually extremely tolerant of other people’s opinions. I understand that everyone has their own taste and that the diversity in those tastes is what’s allowing us to have such wildly different and ambitious experiences. If everyone liked the same thing, there wouldn’t be something like variety.

A big part of growing up as a gamer is realising that people won’t always agree with you and that is completely okay. Debating your side and listening to the other doesn’t have to be messy. We don’t have to attack each other all the time and, as a species, I think it’s our obligation as the only intelligent beings that we know of to be respectful of others so that they can be respectful towards us.

But when you come into my comment section and say that The Witcher 3 is “just okay”, I’m getting the slapping stick.

Lag

Have you ever j-jumped into a

multiplayer g-aa-ame

and firmly-y-y believed that

the Mars Curio-o-osity Rover

has better ping than you-uuuuu do?

Bamboozle us

Listen, I’m all for a good business strategy. We live in a wonderful capitalistic world and getting money for products is the basis of our very civilization. But when you expect me to buy horse armour or “coins” to buy “packs” just so that I can get some momentary “fulfillment“, I’m going to get annoyed.

I often worry that the gaming industry will implode on itself with all of these companies trying their best to hustle us out of our money. But each time publishers do something shady or try to trick us with their various strategies, gamers have come out of the woodwork to do what gamers do best.

Be annoyed.

We have some real capacity to cause big changes in our favourite hobby’s industry. Just when the corporate overlords get overzealous, we’re there to keep them in check. It may be a constant battle because there are always more ways to bamboozle people out of their money, but it’s a battle that’s worth fighting. Gaming is all that a lot of us have and we’re not going to see it be destroyed by out of touch executives in suits. So get annoyed. Your voice matters more than you think.

Conclusion

And there you go, five little annoyances in our gaming lives. I’m sure I skipped over a lot so feel free to go into the comments and get annoyed that I didn’t include this thing or that thing, as is most often tradition. I totally love it when you guys do that, it really makes me overjoyed to be alive.

I am way too tall, played way too many games and I love to write about what we love about games. In the end, I'm just being #Thabolicious

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