“Whahahahaha, I’m back! It’s a me, Wario. I know you have been waiting for my return for a very long time, but I was off finding new treasures around the world [snicker]. I stole a gold pot from some useless town and here I am sitting, playing games and I’m still broke. I have a plan! I’m going to make a game and you, dear loser, will pay me big money to play my microgames. Mwhuahahahahah!”
Wario and his suspect humour are back with over 300 microgames. These games have been brought forward from previous entries including WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgames!, WarioWare: Twisted!, WarioWare: Touched!, WarioWare: Smooth Moves, WarioWare: D.I.Y., and Game & Wario. Think of it as a ‘best of’ collection of WarioWare games. As Wario made you aware in that first paragraph, he is broke. To remedy this he gets a bunch of his old chums to make him a set of microgames that you will be playing. The winner walks away with ten million coins! Quite the offer I tell you. With the various games spanning over several generations and console formats, the 3DS feels like the perfect fit for what is required to deal with the various microgames.
The games are divided up into three unique categories: Mash, Twist and Touch.
The games are divided up into three unique categories: Mash, Twist and Touch. Mash comes down to mashing some buttons or making use of the D-Pad to complete a game, while twist uses the gyroscope on the 3DS and sometimes also requires some button input to complete a challenge. You’re perhaps wondering why Nintendo did not launch this on the Switch instead? Well, that is where touch comes into play. Yes, the Switch has a touch screen, but I’m under the impression that the stylus is much more precise for the quick thinking that is involved. Your big fat fingers would just get in the way of the action unfolding in front of you. So what exactly are these microgames?
As twisted as it gets
If you’ve never played a single WarioWare microgame then here is a quick lowdown. You are presented with a simple challenge or puzzle that requires you to solve it in a few seconds. Fail to do so and you lose one of your four lives. Complete it and you’ll move on to the next challenge just about instantly. Once you’ve completed several challenges the speed and complexity of the microgame increases, forcing you to make split-second decisions. There is one more speed and difficulty bump before you face the boss of that set of microgames that’ll have you using everything you have learnt up to that point. It’s perhaps the microgames in particular that set this apart from any other game on the market. Wario is, in essence, an extension of Nintendo’s twisted minds, and it gets super wonky.
Mash the A button to quickly sniff up a long-hanging line of snot from your nose, stick your fingers in a nostril, use the robot to punch the pumpkin heading your way in outer space, punch a raindrop, get a guy with a bladder that is about to explode through the open toilet door (while avoiding the closed ones) or play a game of Arkanoid where you use a human to bounce the basketball off him. Nothing makes logical sense here, but in a WarioWare game, it’s all the better for it. Nintendo spares little time to remind you just how amazing all their own franchises are. You’ll guide Link into a cave, play a Game & Watch game of Manhole, shoot Donkey Kong out of a barrel, pat a dog in Nintendodogs using your stylus, remove obstacles in Excitebike and, in a new game, place the amiibo on the 3DS to scan it. Talking about amiibo, there is a pretty cool use for those in the real-world too.
Nothing makes logical sense here, but in a WarioWare game it’s all the better for it
More smooth moves
Once done with the story mode you can use your coins you’ve earned to spend in the arcade. Each capsule in the capsule machine costs you 600 coins. This provides you with new mini-games, cards, records, phones (used to dial numbers with weird answers), interesting Nintendo trivia and other miscellaneous items. One of these items allows you to scan any of your amiibo you own for more coins, whereby Wario paints his own take on that particular amiibo. The hilarity continues with his laughable paintings. There are also other challenge modes that unlock once you’ve passed the classic Jimmy T, Ashley & Red, Dr. Crygor and other classic story modes. One of these mixes up all the various challenges, so you’re jumping between button mashing, twisting and your stylus, which becomes a game of finger twister. Thrill Ride, for example, gives you a mere one life. One mistake and it’s game over. It’s all very good and well, but there is one slight problem.
WarioWare games are best experienced with other players. There is a multiplayer mode, named Battle Time, but it requires your opponent to have their own 3DS and a copy of the game. If, like previous titles, you could download the game from a friend, that would change it up quite a bit. It’s here where the game would have shined on the Switch and is perhaps something Nintendo should consider in the future. I could unfortunately not play the multiplayer mode, but I would imagine that there is lots of fun to be had if you can track someone down.
“Oh, wait, you’re back? You’re done reading all that garbage? My game is the best! It’ll make
me you rich! Yes, yes, it’s very short, but I promise that you’ll get a good finger workout and improve the capacity of your noggin. Go buy it now! Off you go.” *farts*